A Tale of Two Constituencies

As the day of truth coming closer, let’s have a glimpse of the possible result to elect the peoples’ representative in two constituencies, namely the parliamentary seat of Successful Traveler and the state seat Glorious Earring. We have a Videoman, The Comic and Drainman for the parliamentary seat and the Myway Lady and The Switcher for the state seat.

What will be the possible results on March 8?

Successful Traveler Parliamentary seat and candidates

The Comic

If he wins – most of us might not believe this, but it might spell disaster if he wins this election. Just imagine, this candidate who is famous for his clarion call “dare to fail” might face a drop in the sales of his compilation and lesser opportunity in the lecture circuit.

If he fails – the saga shall continue and we won’t be seeing the last of him. In fact, he actually wins when he lost the election. He can add another “successful” failure in his profile and another story on how he “conquered” the videoman and Drainman


The Videoman

If he wins – expect a live telecast of all parliamentary proceedings since his camera will be on recording mode all the time. His main contribution during his term as an Yb - expect all Mps (maybe minus the one from Jerai and Kinabatangan) to be on their toes always or they will be instantly made famous and popular in Youtube with their un-parliamentary antics and fixes.

If he fails – he really can’t ask too much anyway since he already got a two-weeks extension to his fame and popularity. At least now all who brought injustice to the people and shame to their country will always be on guard with any young and bored chaps with a camera hanging on their neck.


The Drainman

If he wins – our drains will be glittering and shining during day and night since more allocation will be obtain from the federal government to employ contractors not only to clean the drain every day but will add another layer of Nippon Go. So don’t expect him to attend parliament 100% and raise important issues like his predecessor, as he will too busy taking care of the drains since the parliament constituency is larger than his previous turf.

If he fails – hell will break loose. Witch hunting will began within his division to look for scapegoats for his loss and do expect a challenge to his lordship by his own man close to him in the coming division party election. Also expect demand from parents of a vernacular school for his name to be removed from the school hall and administration block. At the higher end of party hierarchy, he will be made a pawn in the power struggle within the top leadership, just like what happens to his predecessor.



Glorious Earring state seat and the Candidates

The MyWay Lady

If she wins – all the homemakers will be one big family with her leading the way to success. Within five years of hard work, the ladies in this constituency will be wearing precious earrings crusted with ruby, pearl and diamond. Hopefully the local government office will be gleaming and spotless clean with all the ingredients used to mop up the premise.

If she fails – she would quietly count her blessings that she don’t have to walk and serve the demanding and vocal constituents in city of Glorious Earring for the next five years. But at the higher end of the party hierarchy, the leadership will be hard press to fulfill the targeted gender quota in the next election.


The Switcher

If she wins – the voters in the city of Glorious Earring better be prepared for clogged drains, pothole-ridden and eerily dark roads, increasing assessment rates, escalating crimes and run down vernacular schools since they voted for change. On the other hand, this might not happen if the Switcher changes her mind again and hopped over to MyWay party because she too wants to have precious earrings with ruby on it like all the other ladies.

If she fails – she is already a winner by virtue of having the courage to stand up to a challenger with a stronger army. There will be next round of fight if she desires. She can always prepare for the next fight in five years time. While waiting for the bell to struck, hopefully she will organized many fantastic events for the people of Glorious Earrings that will rivaled those organized by the Drainman.